Archive for March, 2010
I had an honest reaction from one of my clients in response to my article/video “Terror On A (not very big) Hill”
He said:
I’m going to be honest the ski video is cool, on one hand it shows your human and you deal with anxiety like other sufferers but to me and other possible clients it makes me feel like I’m not dealing with someone who has mastered controlling his anxiety but someone who’s still on his journey- kind of like getting treated from a doctor still in school-would rather the experienced doc.
I want to respond to this because I think it’s a fair question and I truly appreciate the honesty.
First of all, I think I’m a better anxiety coach because I have been where you are and I have felt the terror of anxiety. I can also help smokers stop smoking (even though I’ve never smoked) and overweight people lose weight (even though I’ve never been overweight) because NLP and hypnosis and Time Line Therapy® work.
But, I’m a much better anxiety and phobia coach than I am a stop smoking or weight loss coach. I know the beast of anxiety from the inside out. And I’ve used the same tools I teach to help myself. And I continue to use the tools to help myself through life’s little challenges.
Secondly, every day I am engaged in doing the things that I used to stop myself from doing.
- I am making music as well as performing it
- I am recording and putting my songs out on the internet
- I am creating and teaching courses on NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line
- I am learning everything I need to learn about business and marketing (stuff that used to intimidate me) in order to share my work with larger groups of people
- I speak to strangers on the street.
- I strike up conversations with beautiful women at parties and pretty much anywhere I happen to find myself.
- I pick up the phone and introduce myself to potential business contacts.
- Put me in front of any audience, any where, any size, any age and I can perform, I can give an impromptu talk with literally no anxiety.
- I can hold a moth or a beetle in my hand.
- I could sell snow to Eskimos at this point and I used to totally freak out about selling anything.
on and on and on…
Just because I felt the old terror when I was pushing through a new situation does not make me like the “doc who is still in school”. It just makes me a lot like you but with more training and more experience in dealing with a highly sensitive neurology.
And even more importantly than anything else:
I do not “fix” anyone. I do not “cure” anyone. The NLP tools don’t cure or fix anyone. We “cure” ourselves using the tools.
I am a coach. I teach you how to run your own mind so that your old patterns of thinking stop keeping you from living the life you want to live.
So even if I wasn’t walking my talk, you could learn something from me and still apply it to your own life.
Michael Jordan had a coach. Every great athlete does. I would be willing to bet that Jordan’s coach could not get out there in the middle of a game and shoot the baskets for Michael. You know? Ultimately it came down to Michael using his tools. Sometimes he even missed a shot. Sometimes he had an off day. Human.
Ultimately you want to work with a practitioner who knows his stuff. But NLP doesn’t make your life perfect. It simply gives you resources so you can deal with life’s challenges.
I’m a certified trainer in every one of the techniques I use (except EFT) which means I teach other practitioners and master practitioners how to do this work. Just because I’m a teacher of this stuff doesn’t mean I don’t have problems or challenges or areas of my life that I’m still working on.
We are never done people! Ever. And IMHO that’s really a good thing.
Anyone who says we get to a place where everything is perfect is a con artist. I teach this stuff because I wanted to learn it so badly that I knew I would learn it better if I taught it. I was right. I want you to teach it to others so you will get the benefit of mastery as well.
But hey! Guess what? I’m STILL learning. Every single day.
I have been in practice since 2003 with hundreds of clients and a lot of practical, hands-on experience. And let me tell you it has not always been a breeze! Sometimes I had to use my anxiety tools just to be able to work with clients. Because I could get sucked into their negative patterns pretty easily if I wasn’t careful. I’ve also had to use my tools to set aside my own life “stuff” (like going through a divorce) in order to be clear and present for my clients or to teach a group of students.
And yes, I use these techniques every single day to create the life I have always wanted. Every single day.
Most days (unlike before I started this journey 15 years ago) I am relaxed and confident, comfortable in any situation you could throw at me. Sometimes “stuff” happens and it takes me a while to get back to center after some unwelcome surprise or event. Sometimes I’m challenging myself to push through the comfort zone. Then I’m using every tool in my book just like you.
If you want to work with a practitioner who doesn’t admit to being human then good luck finding one. Personally when I choose a coach to work with I want someone who is ahead of where I am but who also uses the skills I’m learning from him or her. I prefer it if they had to learn the hard way. But I also want them to be human.
For skiing and mountain biking advice I turn to Mike at Sport Tech in Oneonta, he’s a total advanced expert skier (as well as biker). And even he admitted that controlling cross country skis on a hill (with trees at the bottom) can scare the pants off him. “Sometimes” he said you just have to sit down and roll to the side to stop.”
My sweet anxiety suffering friends,
I truly and honestly hope you take charge of your change. You do not have to keep suffering. Sometimes the process is fast and fun. Other times it requires perseverance and damn hard work. Sometimes you can go it alone and sometimes you need some support and guidance.
Keep at it. I’m right here with you and ultimately it’s the best work to be doing!
And finally, if you watch the video in the previous article, “Terror On A (not even a very big) Hill” please make sure you notice the most important thing. Even though I experienced anxiety about going down the hill. I still went back and used my tools to move through the fear. I focused on learning. I did the EFT tapping. I visualized successfully arriving safely at the bottom of the hill. I used a self hypnotic command “RELAX” which I spoke out loud. I used my circular breathing. And I was able to go down the hill three times. That is what we mean by walking our talk.
What is it that you are stopping yourself from doing that you want to do? What kind of life do you want to create? What is it costing you to hold yourself back? What would it be like to just forget the fear, the phobias, the anxiety, the worry, the shyness, the panic, the terror, the self sabotage and be empowered and confident?
What would it be like to feel safe and comfortable in your own life? If you can’t imagine that, at least imagine what it would be like to make a small step in the right direction…and then another…and then another…Until one day you look back and see how it all worked out better than you could possibly imagine…
I welcome your comments! Even the honest ones and the tough ones. Leave a comment below.
Got questions? e-mail me at mark [at] markshepard.com or call me at 888-598-7709
Ready to take action?
Explore these options:
- 17 Secrets To Crush Anxiety & Get Your Life Back!
- Clear The Fear Fast Home Study System
- Clear The Fear Boot Camp (aka “Retreat” aka “Learning Vacation”)
- One On One Coaching With Mark Shepard
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Because of the huge amount of Spam I’ve been getting, I’ve had to close the comments feature of this blog.
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- Call me at 888-598-7709,
- E-mail me at mark [at] MarkShepard.com
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