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Help For Social Anxiety, Shyness At First Meeting

July 16, 2010 By

2 Key techniques for managing social anxiety or shyness…

when you first meet a new acquaintance that not only put you at ease, they also put your new friend at ease and make both of you so comfortable that you can easily make friends and feel great in any social setting!

One of my Silver members from Greece asked a really good question this morning about overcoming shyness and social anxiety when meeting new people. I thought I’d share my answer not just with him but with all of you.

He asked:

I got the silver program before some days. I used the technique of the time-line with the fifteen minutes and it helped me a lot before going out with people who I am not very close. But when I talk with these people,at first I still feel anxious. I would like to ask for your opinion. What do you think that I should do at the very same time that I talk with these people? Thank you very much for your time

Here’s my answer:

 

Here’s a tip from one of my other programs, The Reluctant Sales Person that might help you to feel comfortable around other people. It involves matching and mirroring the other person’s blinking and breathing to create rapport. Rapport works for you as well as for the other person. It’s about putting both of you at ease.
  1. Blink. Pay attention to when they blink. When they blink. Match it. You blink. You don’t have to do it every time. But definitely use it a few times.
  2. Breathe. When someone else is talking, they are breathing out (they have to be breathing out because that’s how we make the sounds right?) So when they are talking just breathe out. You can time the circular breathing to it or just simply breathe out. Please Note: I teach the circular breathing technique in the Silver Level Course Materials : 17 Secrets To Crush Anxiety

 

These two things can be used separately or together. You don’t have to do them every moment, just from time to time.
  • You can even do them from across the room.
  • They connect you unconsciously to the person you are talking to.
  • They focus you away from yourself and your fears and onto the person you are with.
  • This feels really good. both for you and for the person you are talking to.
Another part of this is a big piece of the shyness/ social anxiety issue. When we are shy we are basically being self focused. In order to change our focus, looking outward and focusing on making another person feel comfortable can itself be healing and therapeutic. It can even act like a “pattern interrupt” stopping the old, habitual shyness / social anxiety program from running.
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You can also imagine going out 15 minutes past this event and looking back seeing yourself actually having a good time and meeting some great new friends.
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When I started doing this I was amazed at the deep friendships I made easily.
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Thank you so much for your question and for actually using the tools! So many people say they want change
but they seem to not actually want to have to do anything!
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Bravo for you!Your question helps me to help more people.
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Please imagine, My thoughts and support surrounding you and helping you to feel comfortable
and confident no matter where you go.
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-Mark

Ready for help? You have a couple options:

  1. My affordable online self help course: How To Crush Anxiety Without Harmful Drugs or Endless Therapy
  2. My powerful one on one coaching in person or over the phone: Call this number and let me know when we can get together over the phone for a get acquainted chat 888-598-7709 or, my email is ClearFearFast [at] gmail.com or if you prefer, simply fill out the handy form below and click send!
p.s. for more information about NLP Rapport building techniques visit:  The Reluctant Sales Person: NLP Persuasion Power For Sales Shy Professionals

If you have questions or comments you can click the link below…

http://clearfear.com/contact-me/

 

 


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